„If we look at this tree outside whose roots search beneath the pavement for water, or a flower which sends its sweet smell to the pollinating bees, or even our own selves and the inner forces that drive us to act, we can see that we all dance to a mysterious tune, and the piper who plays this melody from an inscrutable distance—whatever name we give him—Creative Force, or God—escapes all book knowledge.”.
Albert Einstein (in: William Hermanns, “Einstein and the Poet: In Search of the Cosmic Man” (1983), p. 14)
Before the days of algorithms, tracking, SEO, collecting followers and producing content that would encourage people to buy the products described on other pages, blogs were used to describe whatever caught the author’s interests. In Poland, it was the early 2000s, I was a teenager and I was one of those who wrote a blog about school ups and downs, for myself and for a small circle of friends. Since then, the internet has changed completely, and now finding non-commercial content has become increasingly difficult. Since I’ve been plagued for the last few months by some strange Muse that keeps suggesting new ideas and observations to describe, I decided to return to the premise of those days and start a blog where I could vent my creative impulses. So, it’s an experiment I’m embarking on because I feel like writing about whatever happens to be running through my Mind, in the hope that it will give me a break for a while.
The source of these impulses lately has been ordinary, everyday life. In the perpetual stream of thoughts wandering restlessly between regretting past decisions and fears and expectations regarding the future, fuelled by an endless feed of information driven by artificial intelligence, we seem to have forgotten, as humanity, the magic and beauty of mundane life. Whether in advertising, on social media or in conversations overheard on the bus, almost every day someone is telling us to ‘step out of our comfort zone’, to ‘want more’, to ‘posses more’, to ‘DO more’ and ‘DO better’.
Well, I believe that life on Earth would BE better if everyone finded that mythical comfort zone first. And sit in it for a while. Even an hour a week would do! It seems that some (most?) of us don’t even know whether we have a ‘comfort zone’ in our lives. I’m only just beginning to discover mine, and after a few months filled with moments when I can glimpse that space within me, I know I have no desire to leave it at all!
But I digress, this post was supposed to be about ‘the Experiment’.
Experiment means simply ‘Life’. My Life. Your Life. According to Human Design, Life can become an Experiment, in which, by observing what happens, what comes to us (or not), we can find peace and even bliss. We can observe our own Life like a scientist who prepares the components of an experiment and then watches what happens; draws conclusions, gets upset that the results don’t match the assumptions or is happy that something interesting came out of it this time. Usually not at all what (s)he expected in her/his assumptions.
Sounds familiar? From my recent experience, Life truly can be seen as an interesting Experiment, instead of a torment full of fear and anxiety, as long as we can relax and just watch. I’m not saying that it’s easy… And also, at this point, two questions arise: 1) Who has prepared this Experiment for us? [here, for now, I’d just refer to the quote from Einstein above], and 2) Who actually observes the Experiment?
Try to observe yourself for five minutes: what are you doing at the moment, what your thoughts are about, are you comfortable in front of the screen or maybe something is already numb from sitting or lying in that position? And now, who is watching that? Who is answering these questions?
Someone who is neither my thoughts nor my body. This ‘observer’ is someone else withinn me, the third one, but who? A soul, a spirit, the Holy Spirit perhaps? Who knows? You name it! Every culture and religion came up with something different.
All my life I have been a seeker interested in that ‘third one’, this ‘observer’. Of course, as a child – like probably most girls, or not? – I went through a stage of fascination with nuns and wanted to become a nun. But in Poland being a ‘believer’ rarely has anything to do with ‘spirituality’ these days, so my search for the latter had to go another way. I’ve tried trendy yoga, but it didn’t grab me at all. Mantras, meditation, repeating prayers with my Open Mind (another HD term) was a complete disaster! I was always just annoyed that between the tenth and eleventh Hail Mary, the one hundred and first and one hundred and second sheep, or between the mantras, I managed to come up with a) a plan for the coming week, b) much better points that I should have made in a conversation that took place a month ago, and c) a cutting retort in a conversation that hasn’t even taken place yet… Truly, I admire people who are able to meditate and come out of the process relaxed!
I like astrology, but not the newspaper kind of astrology, but the kind that can show that humanity, as part of Nature’s world, stays under its eternal but imperceptible influence. Like this flower that gives off a sweet smell to the ‘pollinating bee’ in the Einstein quote. Does the flower know that it gives off this fragrance for the bee? The flower may not know, but Nature in its nature knows. So if the Moon changes the direction of the ocean waters, why shouldn’t it affect the human body? It’s also full of water… Humans have become very arrogant in their detachment from the laws of nature.
But, it was supposed to be about me, and not about humanity.
Actually, my search for the ‘spiritual’, ‘higher power’ and all that stuff started because of the strangest of my experiences so far: loosing my Voice. Singing voice, to be precise. To “get it back” I’ve started with standard things: psychologists, coaches, teachers. On the way, I’ve even had a short romance with esoterics. And then, three years ago, I’ve stumbled upon Human Design. By chance or, perhaps, serendipity? I gained new tools for interpretation of my experience and new language to describe it for myself. And I stopped searching. It just works for me (for now).
I’ve learnt that I am a “6/2” and that it is perfectly normal for people with that “Profile” to have difficult experiences during the first 28-30 years of life. That, as a “2nd line being”, my body is endowed with natural talents that I do not necessarily understand with my mind. I bet my singing voice is one of them. I can understand it for the Other, but not for myself. “I sing, but I’m not a singer”. “I don’t know how, I just sing (or not)”. That is something that I used to say before starting my adventure with music education. IT was a revelation that, according to HD, it is quite common for “2nd lines” to get fucked up while trying to understand their gifts and talents within the framework of professional training and educational institutions. I don’t know if it’s true, but it gave me enough ‘peace of Mind’ to go on with life, get rid of the guilt I’ve been feeling for years.
I’ve also learnt, that as a “Manifesting Generator” with “eight 2nd lines in my design” I cannot operate correctly by focusing on only one job, one hobby, one passion, one profession. It turns out that it is ok not to specialize in one, selected area and then do it throughout all my life! This is deffinitely not, what the society or education system tells us. And the list of such discoveries goes on, and on.
So, I have starded this journey looking for a way to get back my Voice, which was mysteriously “taken away” from me. But I ended up finding so much more about myself and the world around me. And it’s actually fun to discover things like that! I’d like* this blog to be about all of this. About my seeing, my findings on life, and music, and talent, and human nature. About my Experiment. About my Song.
Life is a Song. Let “the piper who plays the tune from an inscrutable distance” play, while each of us sing our own Song to that tune. Would you like to listen to mine?
* Just because I “want” something or “plan to do” something does not mean that it will happen. That’s what Life has already taught me. I am a Generator with an Open Mind. So it may turn out that I will close the blog next week because the energy will choos a different direction. I will be watching whatever unfolds with much interest though!
