So… Last time I said this blog will be about Human Design, right? Guess what! That was what my mind had thought at that moment, but NOW, I don’t think it’s gonna happen. We’ll see (or not!). Let me explain.
According to Human Design, I am a 6/2 Manifesting Generator with the Sacral Authority and my Strategy is ‘Wait to Respond’.
According to Zen Human Design [yes, they have their schism already! and HD has only a bit more than 30 years! the world indeed works faster than it used to in the Middle Ages…], I am a Single Definition with a Mode ‘to do’.
Confusing, isn’t it? Should I wait, or should I do?
So this is what any ‘system’ can do to our minds. Add confusion to confusion. Run in circles. Fantastic!
After 3,5 year of experimenting with the Human Design system (in its ‘jovian’ version, as, apparently, I should term it now) I realized that the initial awe I felt to all the intricacies of the system turned into a fixation on terms and labels. My mind took over at times, and started to ask too often questions like: ‘did you wait long enough?’, ‘was it a Sacral Response?’, ‘did you initiate or not’, ‘did you initiate in response or not’. Several decisions I have made felt great in my body and in their outcomes, but my mind would question them and so the confusion grew. Especially the premise that an MG has to always wait and never initiate. I believe that actually all human beings have to wait for the Life to come to us and move us to do something. And ‘waiting’ is just a term for ‘being’. Instead of rushing, doing something all the time. All systems and religions, old and new, want us to do this, but as humanity we have hard time to get it.
Another thing is, should a system preaching ‘uniqueness’ of each human being divide ‘beings’ into types, subgroups, and give each type a ‘Strategy and Authority’ to follow? I really wanted to prepare posts about Projectors, Manifestors, Generators and Reflectors and show my take on each type, as I have experienced them. But these are just artificial labels and divisions. Actually, what started to pull me away was that I got tired with the HD language itself. I really wanted to explain the language here, but it turned out that there was no energy for that. I even have a draft of a post about my experience of being a Manifesting Generator. But it turned out that it doesn’t resonate anymore. It turned out to be just another label. You are this or that. A daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover, a Manifesting Generator, a teacher, a singer, a scholar, a cat owner, a dog lover, a…
Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love the diversity of systems and I hope to explore some of them here. Human Design helped me a lot, I got a new perspective, new language, new experiences and understandings. I think that the part of the HD ‘knowledge’ about our physical body and 9 centers is valid and I will keep observe its workings (perhaps more in a Zen Human Design point of view?). But what the recent experience and reflection gave me is this:
In the end, all systems, teachings and religions are similar to the languages of the world. Actually, they ARE languages providing us with terms and concepts describing our experiences. Some of us use one language from birth until death, and some learn one or several languages and change or switch them along the way (Way?). In such diversity, it is important to remember that each human being is unique and at our core – indescribable. Each human being lies outside all of the systems, classifications, teachings, religions. Obvious statement, but not easy to actually live it, to embody it. I am going to try that. Although it feels very lonely at times. Even in spiritual search, it is easier to label oneself as, for instance, Manifesting Generator, and look out for people with similar experiences. Being unique is a lonely path. But being with a group of unique beings – what a bliss! Anyways.
Who am I according to myself? That’s what I am exploring every day having my experiment, my journey.
My current answer is: I don’t know. I am me. And I am starting to enjoy learning who that ‘Me’ is. Through watching and reflecting on what I see (or not). Watching my mundane and my mystical, watching my flows and moods, watching the external and the internal. Enjoying (or not) the ride.
[But also, my mind for some time now enjoys a new ‘rabbit hole’! Gene Keys! At the first glance, it also uses complicated language, but in its core and meaning it is much lighter than Human Design. Interprets some similar elements with more positive attitude and, importantly, without inner divisions. It has even more interesting idea about who I am and who all of us can/will become/are becoming. It feels nice and soft. So, if I’ve learned anything about myself in this life so far, I am sure that my next posts will be about how I love the Gene Keys and how they changed my life 😉 until the next thing comes, and then the next, and the next…]
It is great to see how open you are to different “schools” and you are willing to explore them, instead of being “locked” in one. What are Gene Keys?:)
See for yourself 🙂 https://genekeys.com/